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No worries, I'm not looking for a hookup. Yes I know you hate me. Resent me. A wife knows. Believe it or not, fod do. You're with me because of warped guilt. Time and pain change people. I have fallen out of love. The love I do feel is due to the fact I have lived with you more than 25 yrs.
It's a love that's more about basic caring. Not madly, deeply, affectionate kind of love. That kind of love fades away, eventually. I began to realize you will never return it. I've begun to not desire it any longer. You womab without me. While every step of the way I asked you to change with me.
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I knew then. Just like I know now. You loved someone else. I won't try anymore. I tried for 25 years. It's all like a punch in the gut. It gets better by the week. Your words and slight interactions do not persuade or cause me to believe anything other than, you love another. When I manage the courage I will leave you. I'd rather be alone. It's growing.
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I hate myself for building my life around you. I hate that I love you. I want to hate you.
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