If you're moving to a new city — or a new country, or a new hemisphere — after college, it can be an intimidating and lonely experience. While moving for school comes with in-built structure and social systems, picking up and moving your life in your 20s and 30s, for work, a relationship or something else, is less adventure, more potential isolation.
The possibility alone is daunting — how do you citty new friends when you move to a new place as an adult, especially if you happen to be an introvert? Jan Yager tells Bustle. Even if you want to snuggle and nest a bit initially, you're going to have to push yourself out of the house to make a connection with somebody.
Though it's definitely harder to make new friends as an adult than it is when you were in school, it isn't impossible. Here are seven expert-approved ways to do it. And keeping in touch can also help ease the transition period. Yager tells Bustle that if you really miss your old home, it's important to keep in touch with everybody you've left behind.
But, she says, there are limits. Look for groups that do hobbies you already love crafting, mountain climbing, book clubs or take up one that you've always wanted to try, so there's extra incentive if you're feeling shy. If you're introverted, you can look online for new connections.
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Yager advises being cautious when going this route. Namely, meet in a public place. Make sure you always share the contact information with the person you are meeting, even if it's in a public space, with someone you know and trust. It helps if you understand the psychological terrain of friendships in a new place. Leslie Fischer, an entrepreneurtells Bustle, "Most people in your town have existing friendships that nourish their need for connection with others, so you need to do the inviting.
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Being the new person in town also marriev gives you an "in" for conversation; ask locals for tips about their favorite places. It's not birmingham faith escort if you feel sad while trying to find your social feet in a new place, says Dr Yager. Your wellbeing is important, so if you notice that your loneliness is getting you down, take steps.
A therapy group in general can also be helpful as a starter social group, Wright tells Bustle. That kind of connection can be vulnerable and powerful. Remember that making a connection takes time.
A quick way to feel connected both to your place and to other people who love it is to give back to it, even if you've only been there for three days. Once you're more established, host a monthly potluck, gather at a restaurant, and ask your friends to bring somebody new into your group each month.
You get to check out a bunch of new restaurants in your new city. Whatever strategies you use, it'll take time for you to feel comfortable in your new city with a host of connections around you.
Don't expect it all to sort out within five days. Give it a few months, though, and soon you'll be settled with some excellent mates around.
By JR Thorpe.